Waving wheat

To be completely honest, I don't even know what I want.
Especially now.

But I just figured this out recently.

I was young and naive and raw.
And people around me would define things for me.

I was absorbent and in a rush.
And people around me filled in the blanks for me.

Till it came to a point I was shielded by this
thick, hard shell.
Yet, deep inside I was still soft as flesh.

But I thought life was black and white.
You don't go my way, the door awaits,
you don't stride the way I stride,
don't expect me to go against my pride.

I didn't know why being 'principled' was everything to me.
Because now, life is surprising me by its grey lines.

Today, I'm slightly older
and I don't think I fit in this shell anymore.

I really get it now when the older ones say
"you're still young."

Funny how this rigid stick is now as flimsy as a waving wheat.

I'm back I guess?
Fir