Fast, in a blink of an eye, a whole new batch of cars replacing the one before.
That could be the most precise depiction of how I feel as a 20 year old person.
Life is basically at a pace that is incredibly accelerated. Youth is taking the lead before anything and everything else. Fairly overwhelming but not detrimental, yet. That is exactly how I feel right now.
I could want to go for a hike at the Mossy Forest today and I would still want to go for a talk the next day. One day I'm coaxing my friends to start on a volunteering team to help kids on the streets and I'm writing for a column on some other days. Today I aspire to be the next lawyer who wants to change the terrible status quo of Shariah's position in Malaysia and tomorrow, I just want to do art and live in my own small apartment and go to work on a bicycle.
Do you feel the same way?
Highly ambitious, painfully inspired, and ecstatically motivated for life.
But sometimes, I do feel like I can only do so much. Sometimes, it's like hearing empty cans colliding against each other in my head. I would have days feeling Twitter would be enough for the day.
But a thought I had while I was deep in Bukit Kutu, hiking. I was breathing heavily, sweat penetrating my t-shirt and such lovely fume I was producing, and I thought. An hour had just gone. An hour filled with nature appreciating moments, an hour filled with deep thoughts about life, an hour creating memories with Ezza and Kuaci, an hour of just feeling the environment.
And I compared this 60 minutes with a random 60 minute if I were to be at home doing nothing. 20 minutes fingers going back and forth from Twitter to Instagram to Snapchat. 10 minutes of trying to fall to sleep again, 15 minutes in the loo sitting on the seat, really excreting nothing. Just playing around with my phone, again. 5 minutes of shower and 10 minutes on the bed again, playing with the phone again, still in my towel.
Dude. Are you getting the figures that I'm trying to elucidate here? Equal time frame but such different results of the whole usage of that 1 hour. Bapak bazir masa sial. Haha faham tak?
Okay, if you can't relate to hiking, imagine yourself at a talk, in one hour, you can listen to four different speakers sharing their worldviews with you. Damn son.
However, I still do it anyways. There would be good days, there would be lazy days. A non stop cycle. So yeah.
Sustaining the energy in you is a struggle, but start somewhere and as always, istiqamah I guess.
Yamg hari ni motivated to write,