Thursday, October 30, 2014

Who am I?

The hardest thing for me to express is forever a writing about religion.

Whenever it's about self values.

Whenever it's about life perspectives.

Whenever it's about God.

I contemplate. Fear of what people will think. Who am I to talk about God? Who am I to talk about good and bad? Fear of those baleful thoughts and glances from people.

I reckon, the only thing that is stopping me from writing about these topics is simply because my words don't mirror who am I. I reckon. Coming from a girl who swears and curses, coming from a girl who gossips, coming from a girl who isn't perfectly covered.

Like at this moment, I see the picture clearly, the line is finally clear between the right and wrong but being human, what if I fall back to the state of ambiguity. What if I spark that single fire into a huge fire of wrongness.

But then again.

"Say, 'O My servants who have transgressed against their souls (by sinning), despair the mercy of Allah. Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful,"
Surah Az-Zumar : 53

So allow my humble self to give it a try. A try at sharing what I've discovered. For the common good. Ya?

I've been reading a book from an inspiring lady Yasmin Mogahed, 'Reclaim Your Heart'. I found out about her when I first attended her talk early this year at Putrajaya. So I got her book right after the talk. Her book is divided into chapters and surprisingly, as I passed each page, it penetrated my heart so easily. Like I get what she wass trying to say. Her analogies, her use of the quranic support. She painted her topics so beautifully. And I got it.

Honestly, a normal human would understand the translation from the Tafsir, one could analyse and rationalize things out. I'd include myself. But for me, it was just at the surface of comprehension. I might be one of those who needed extra aid to truly digest what He is trying to tell us. So came along this book. I have so many things to share.

But for now, I'll just choose one.

'False Attachments'.

She gave an analogy and I'm writing it in my own words.

"When a boy is given a toy car by his mum, he finds himself loving the toy car, the gift. He is consumed by the gift rather than acknowledging his mum, the giver. He loves the gift, not the giver. He spends time with the gift, not the giver."

Without realizing, his mum can use all the authority that she has to take the toy car away from him. Same goes to us. We fall in love with money that gives us what we want, we fall in love with people who adore and support us, we fall in love with our lovers that we say 'we can't live without'.

But we don't fall in love with Him. With Allah. It's always that way, don't you think so. Forgetting the fact that Allah using all the authority and might that he may take those things away from us. Permanently.

We put our entire devotion onto inconstant and tangible things, we love the creations. So when it is changeable, it is changed, we go into despair.  We have nothing left with us.


If we love the giver, we put our entire devotion onto one that is constant and fixed. We are not risked to any changes as Allah is always there. Always forgiving, always merciful. Forever constant and fixed. We love the Creator. We don't go into despair instead we feel contentment. And happiness. Knowing He is always there.

"Is not God enough for His Servant? But then try to frighten thee with other (gods) besides Him! For such as God leaves to stray, there can be no guide."
Surah Az-Zumar : 36 

Appreciate the reserved judgements,

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