Sunday, December 29, 2013

I wonder

I'm just a kid. ((as much as I always deny it)) I've only tasted a pinch of the world for 17 years. I have not experienced anything yet. Well, despite my parents' divorce, mean friends, great friends, love hate relationships with teachers, boy crushes and acne problem, that's well, basically it.

So, I am no one to talk about love, but I think I can have questions about it? Kan?

Umm, where do I start ay? Haha this is going to be so jumbled up.

So when you love someone, it's just the normal acceptable concept where you will do anything for the person you love, right? Or is it not? In love, you get to decide to not sacrifice for the one you love? And is it necessary to say it? People say actions speak louder than words, but by saying it, would it have a lesser meaning? I used to have this conception where it's important for you to say things that you really mean to someone before time becomes a bitch and we're left hanging. But is it okay for you not to express the feelings that you claim you have for a person and expect the other person to believe it? No, not in the sense where the other person doesn't love you back but does the other person deserve to just believe the supposedly 'love'.

Why does love hurt? Isn't love supposed to be beautiful? Why do we feel the pain when we are in love, or is it not love? I want to say the love is a messy thing but I just won't believe if I say it, because I've always thought love was something so sacred, so mesmerizing, it can't be messy! Or was my idea of love false?

And is it wrong for this person to ask to be loved? Does it make this person demanding and ungrateful or does this person just wants a little bit of assurance? But then again, it's like slamming it on the other person's face that the actions done are not enough? Or is it really not enough? What is enough? To what extend is it sufficient, enough to be accepted as a grand gesture? Is love all this while about grand gestures? And in love, true love, is it possible to have a party who loves more? How is it possible for you to believe that you love more, or is it just okay? Can it be that way, there's always a party who loves more and the other one who loves less? Can it be that way? Is that true love?

I have all of these questions. Sometimes I wonder if we are just being cheated and manipulated by what the world wants us to believe. Like they have created a guideline on what love is and we just have to follow, if it does not fit, it ain't true love. Is that true?

But seriously, what is love actually?

In the blur,

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